Sunday, January 30, 2011

Breathe

I imagine the air sighing a last cry as it is destroyed by a flickering candle at my bedside. The window is open to the night, replacing the dying oxygen that the flame licks up with fresh air, and I lay here thinking about everything at nothing at all. The weekend has been filled with friends, carefree laughter, as well as tormenting worry. Luckily, I'm calm as the waves of overwhelmance wash over me, and fade into the distance with time. A false alarm had given me a new perspective.

I have just read an amazing book, or rather, re-read it. I've been finding places of inspiration for my upcoming works.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Ocean

The sea fills my mind with brine and coral, the water is clear at times, muddled at times. Thoughts are the scales of a giant fish, I can't tell if he swims or flies, but I do know that he helps write my poetry.

Last night, Wednesday nights usually, I go home with Dylan (my boyfriend) and make music with our band. We call ourselves Cavemen In Suede. Every time we get together, I have a feeling of success. Although our motif and themes are dark, the music lifts me as we play. Dylan plays the drum set, Alex is our lead guitarist, Nick is the Bassist, and we have just added Johnny, on keyboard. When we play, the music transcends my body it flows through me like blood, if I were ever religious, I would relate that feeling to the way it might feel like in the presence of my ancestors, or a blessing of some sort. I am the vocal chords of my band, I sing about the sea quite frequently, I think I do this because it serves as the great divider of the world's lands, the waters store countless memories, and monsters. The sea is beautiful and dangerous and mysterious. It has been here since the beginning of time, and it will be here when time stops. That is one of the things I sing of in my songs. The sea is immortal, it tells us to value our mortality, which brings me to talk about my project.

I have begun to plan a music video for one of our songs, called I Used to be a Fish, which is about living in a post-apocalyptic world and rather than clinging to humanity, the survivors become a part of nature again. I don't have the details planned, but I have a vision that I want to make real. Here are the lyrics.

The ages don't remember me,
I buried myself,
long ago.
And the stones turned into dust,
when the kingom was overthrown.
And all the trees died,
when no one was left,
the sea swelled and took away my breath,
the perfume of the empty city,
smells like ash and coke.


Now there's a fish in the sky,
and he asks me why, oh why?
all the fishermen, they left?
And I tell him
They all wept,
floating away to look for another land,
the sea overtook all of the world's sand.

His fins cut through the clouds,


I saw his tears and felt my heart,
break into pieces part by part,
I couldn't withstand his scaly begs,
so i bent down and ripped off my legs,
Swam fast and hard up into theair,
scales grew up into my hair,
I found my breath again, finally,
neither fish nor fowl can define me...

His fins cut through the clouds,
killing all the birds,
theres no more people to hear them speak their words.
And he swims and swims in the deep light blue,
and takes deep gulps of air meant for me and you,
gulping air.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fizz

I feel like my rib cage is fizzing, my bones are Alka-Seltzer, and this buildup is going to explode into, what I imagine in my head, a masterpiece.

   Today was the first day of the 2nd semester, it hadn't really hit me until I walked into my new classes. Its refreshing, I'm glad to be able to start fresh, especially since the majority of my time will be devoted to doing what I love.
   My first hour is TV Production...technically I'm a TV level 6, therefore one of the advanced kids in the program...First hour TV is comprised mainly of TV1s and 2s. I meant to do this, I had been doing the weekly Aftershock show for a while now, hosting it for almost two school years in a row. I needed a change. The other kids in the class are nice, but one can only take so much of something before it starts to become an anathema. This way, in the class of newbs, I'll be able to work on what i want without others looking at my project and prattling on about what i should have done or what I should do next time, this way I can do what I want, my way. I also wouldn't mind helping the lower levels with advice, it'd make me feel good to know I'm leaving a legacy behind...if that's what it could be considered.
   My second hour is AP Literature. It was, initially, a difficult class to get into, Victorian literature really isn't my thing, especially when a whole novel must be read within a small time frame. Now we have moved on to magical realism, its great reading, really. I just read Dreaming In Cuban, its become my favorite book I've read this year. Soon to come is 100 Years of Solitude, Beloved, etc... I'm sure I'll enjoy them.
   Third hour  is a health and fitness class, and fourth hour is my WISE class, the former taught by Mrs. Love, the latter by Mr. Love. Only in America can students participate in programs such as these. Third hour was special for me. Its the first class since middle school I've had with my best friend, Nikki. I know its going to be exciting, we are able to go to the YMCA gym twice a week, and everyday, Mrs.Love will prepare a healthy meal for us. Its a lot to do, for a class of 35...her husband is the leader of my WISE class, the quirky, lovable man has really grown on me. I'm happy to know that my senior year includes this program, and even after highschool is over and done with, I'll still have my WISE project, which will be like a sort of demo-reel, almost...

I plan to make several mini-short films, some funny, others serious, others abstract, creepy, dark etc...
I also want to produce music videos, at elast one for my band, one for a good friend's music (she's also in the WISE class, we have become pretty close this year, she's an incredible musician, I only hope our relationship will last through the eyars, to see her grow into a big name in the music industry or something.) and one for these two guys from Minnesota, KooKooKangaRoo, who have given me permission to use their music as I see fit...(They're like a sort of underground famous, touring with the big names of Ska like Reel Big Fish and the Aquabats) 
I will combine the shorts and music videos into a documentary style mini movie, most of this "movie" will be unscripted, raw. It'll document the process of creating my work, and my life as time goes on throughout the project. I'm ecstatic to be able to be given the opportunity to start this project. I only hope those around me will enjoy the final product.