Change

He reads my mind like an X-ray machine, his radioactivity burrowing into my head and seeing my thoughts, my emotions, my dreams. He is the one to make me feel when I am numb. I now know what it is to love some one as much as I love breathing. Its been said that if we as humans could truly feel the entire extent and see the entire length of our love for some one so dear, it would kill us. This is what wars are fueled by, what movies are made for, what people die for every day. And I'm lucky enough to find it so young. 

The other night was an important one, I had a conversation with my boyfriend of almost eight months, he had managed to bring me out of my depression after I had gone through the doubt that comes with uncertainty. He had managed to make me realize that my WISE project was not about my film, but about ME. So I have decided not to rush the film. I will work on two scenes I have chosen as important aspects of the film. I will work on those two scenes only, and have them done by the time of my presentation. But I will also have what it took to get to this point in my presentation. What I've been through to come down to simplifying my overly ambitious goal. 

I had come to realize, with Dylan's help, that I am finally growing up from the bubblegum punk I was throughout my life. Although I still have that style, the attitude, and the drive, I have changed from having my head in the clouds, my eyes turned outward. I am able to see myself as a young adult, no longer the teenage dreamer but an aspiring artist. I'm more realistic, which I think is going to benefit me. 

I don't want to rush my film, because even as Walt Disney put it, a good idea never goes to waste. Even if its years down the line from now, I will have that film in my head to accomplish when I have the resources and time. Films don't happen in a semester, they take years, sometimes. And if I want it to be what it looks like in my head, I will take the time to make it so.